The Bittersweet Proposal
by desertwolf4
Summary: Remus goes to visit the graves of James and Lily Potter, where he gets an unexpected visitor, his old friend and lover Sirius Black. Sirius/Remus


**Author's Note:** So the idea for this fanfic came about while I was writing the third chapter of Mark of the Beast with the scene with Sirius and Remus in there. This was born from that. And while the one from Mark of the Beast made me nearly cry. I DID cry while writing this. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I did.

Listened to "Till I Hear You Sing" from Love Never Dies and "Wishing You Were Somehow Here" from Phantom of the Opera.

THIS DOES NOT STICK TO THE CANON STORY. Just saying that. Timeline wise it's before the events of Prisoner of Azkaban. I REPEAT NOT CANON.

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><p>The snow crunched beneath his shoes as he approached the two headstones of the fallen Marauder and his wife. With each step towards his destination, Remus Lupin felt his heart ache just a bit more, the memories flooding back to him with such intensity that the tears threatened to fall before he had even started to talk to them. He so often found himself doing that, talking to the pictures of James and Lily that he kept with him, but he had never done so at their graves…He had not been to them since the funeral. His father would go talk to the grave of his mother…he figured he'd give it a shot with James and Lily…maybe then the heartache would stop, and the guilt would fade.<p>

Carefully, he set the flowers down by the grave, the vibrant colors of the tiger lilies shining bright against the white snow. He straightened back up, looking down at the graves, their names; the birthdays that they had celebrated during their years at Hogwarts. He didn't know where he should start, so much had happened…so very much had. But he shut his eyes, took a breath and held it for a good long moment. "Hey…you two…" he said under his breath, a small smile on his lips as he gazed at the graves again. "You should be proud of Harry…He's done so well at Hogwarts…He's a Gryffindor like us James. Merlin he looks so much like you, and he can fly like you…" It seemed appropriate to start with their son, the one that they had died for, the boy that Remus had vowed to protect the best he could after they had died. He had kept track of him, only because McGonagall would tell him about the boy, after much pleading with his former Head of House. "Bet he becomes a trouble maker…"

Remus had to stop and rub at his eyes, a small smile on his lips, a soft laugh coming off of his lips. "You all expected so much of me…but…Haven't got a job yet…no one wants to hire a werewolf, no one is as accepting as you were James…You, Lily, Peter and Sirius…" His voice trailed off at the thought of the other Marauder in their group. "Sirius…he got out…dunno how…but he did. I know he wasn't the one who killed you…I have to believe that he didn't. He's a good man…He wouldn't have told…" And Remus was still madly in love with Sirius Black whom he had dated for the last two years of their time at Hogwarts. He sat down in the snow, letting his fingers brush against the letters that spelled out 'James Potter'. "I love him James…I do…I just, I can't stop…it hurts to think that I'd lose all of you, all the ones that I held dear…"

And he had truly thought that. James and Lily had been murdered, then Peter by Sirius Black. When James and Lily died, Remus had felt sick to his stomach, because he had known that someone was after them, and he had wanted to help, but Dumbledore had him doing other things for the Order. And when the news came out about Peter and Sirius…Remus felt like his entire world had been shattered, he hadn't left his bed. The full moon came and it had been the worst one he could ever remember. It earned him a month in bed… But Sirius Black, he couldn't believe that it was Sirius who betrayed them, he didn't want to. If someone had talked…they had been cursed into it, someone surely used Veritiserum on Sirius… Unless…it wasn't Sirius…unless it was Peter…

A sigh fell off of Remus's lips. "I have never felt…so completely alone in my life, so lost…I need someone…anyone to just tell me that things will be okay…that everything will be all right…" He could feel the tears starting to fall down his cheeks. "I need you both…I need him…" He rubbed his eyes with his the sleeve of his robe, unable to stop the tears. "I need the emptiness to go away…"

Remus hid his face in his hands. It was harder than he thought, talking about it, but he hadn't…he hadn't had the chance to talk to anyone about them, about everything he was feeling. The day the Potters died was the day his world was shattered he lost everything… He had had spent so much time fighting back the tears, putting on a strong face, praying that the past would die along with his sorrow and loneliness. He had no idea what to do with his life without his friends, they had kept him going, and he barely had the strength to keep trying to live his life. "I wish you were both here…I close my eyes, I dream…and you're here again. None of this happened…none of it did…"

The sound of crunching snow went under heard to the werewolf as the escaped convict approached him quietly. Sirius Black had been there since Remus had shown up, and he just stayed there and listened. The pain that Remus had felt, was almost equal to the pain Sirius had felt being locked away in Azkaban, all the happiness sucked from his body. It had been the memories of his Remus, his beloved werewolf…it had given him the strength to shift to the dog, given him the strength to escape the prison, to get out and find him. He was a shadow of the man he had been when they had put him into the prison. Oh how he wanted to go over there and pull Remus close to his chest, hug him tight and kiss away the tears and sorrow that he was feeling. But how could he? He was a murderer…and despite Remus's words, he was frightened of what the werewolf's reaction would be.

Finally, Remus stood back up, just as new snow had started to fall. He let his hands rest on their graves, his eyes closed. He let his hand fall from Lily's grave, the one on James's stayed there. "Good bye…my dearest friend…" he whispered as he straightened back up.

A gasp fell from his lips as he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist, pulling him close to the man who had just gotten a hold of him. "Prongs…you were my best friend…I was a fool to go after him…It did nothing to help…and it took me away from the one person who needed me most…" The werewolf's heart sped up at the sound of the familiar voice. It was Sirius. His Sirius. "I talked to you about this mate…wish you and Lily could be here to see the day that I marry Moony. I plan to you know…I have been for years…" Remus closed his eyes, listening to him, leaning back into his arms. "If he'll still have me…"

Remus turned, still in Sirius's arms and looked up into the sunken eyes of his former lover, and everything he had felt for him back at Hogwarts and the years up to Lily and James's murders came back to him. He put one around him, the other still on James's grave, unable to speak, only able to nod before he buried his face in Sirius's neck.

Sirius held his friend close with one arm, the other he reached out to rest over Remus's hand on the cold stone grave of James Potter. He pressed his lips to top of Remus's head, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. The two of them looked at James's grave. They loved Lily, but James…James had been a Marauder, he would always be more special to them. The snow continued to fall, blanketing the world around them. There was only one thing left either of them could say…and they did so in unison as a couple engaged to be married in memory of their fallen friend who should have been there with them...

"Mischief managed…"

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><p><strong>Reviews are loved.<strong>


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